Watching NYC prep. Doing a shot everytime one of these d-bags flips his hair. I give it 10 minutes before alcohol poisoning set in.
just smoked a bowl with my history teacher. i love community college
He just helps fat girls get exercise. One walk of shame at a time.
my boss made my mugshot into an 'employee of the month' poster.
Snorting lines of xanex off the back of my grandparents toilet before church. Thinking of u.
Just spent 15 minutes trying to save the life of a fruit fly that dive-bombed my coffee. I figured it doesn't make sense to let two souls die in this place...
So Monday we're lesbians.
Deal. This decision is final and any rebates on this will result in losing an eyeball.
Side note: Hot guys are now getting with ugly chicks. Alert the media.
Just licked cheese from my hot pocket off my phone. I spilled because I was eating a Popsicle at the same time. Send an adult please
Lets just say I tried to pinky promise the cop... So I was fucked up.
She stopped me mid sex to ask if she could finish my ramen, I've found the one.
just had sex in the back of my high school auditorium #dreamcumtrue
Interlocking vagina powers go!!'
Oh god, your drunk again aren't you?
Im sitting on the floor of the hotel room eating nachos and drinking coffee. People should learn to embrace their hangovers
Look, if it comes down to it, I’m spraying whipped cream on your nuts
Randomize
