...i apologize for hitting you up so much tonight im just kinda in a little pickle. im going to sleep in my car near u so pretty plz lmk if you head home...
You stood up and started yelling"Free blow jobs!" because you thought people would like you more.
I don't know what kind of drugs you were on last night but you kept trying to highlight my face because you said I was important
we where pretty evenly matched until he threw me through that wall
Make sure your heart doesn't explode. These are words of wisdom.
On a scale of 1 to "bad descision", where does stealing my racist neighbors dog and giving him my roomates dildo for a chew toy rate?
Just puke n rally. People can't judge, it's syllabus week.
My love will cover her like lulu lemon yoga pants. Casually supportive and always complimenting your Ass.
I need an adult. someone more adult than my current state
HIS BALLS ARE HEAVEN SENT FROM THE VELVET ANGLES.
he really is such a sweet guy. it’s a shame i have to break his heart.
im questioning your sanity while also accepting your reality
That's it. I'm moving to LA & sitting on his face.
Is it weird that I was turned on when he told me he had a vasectomy?
I knew you two would hit it off
That's true. Ask me when I'm not fucked up. Nvm hold on. Btw. Wikipedia dinosaur. It's fascinating
Randomize
