No it only became awkward when she walked in with her new boyfriend and we realized we'd all banged her
Don't really want to talk about it. You were right. She had a whole jar of toenail clippings on her nightstand that she chews on "when her fingernails are too short." Direct quote.
Puked in a cab. Passed out on my floor an my mom put a blanket over me. Home by 1045. I won shitshow trophy last night.
It's hard for me to sext him when the picture i see on my phone when he texts me is his facebook default of him and his girlfriend.
Housing came buy and confiscated our shopping cart :(
We're lucky we aren't prostitutes by now. Whats the etiquette for returning a pair of heels with blood on them?
Congrats on having the best tasting nipple at the bar last night.
If you were a good friend you would take the nipple tassels off me before the ambulance comes.
I wish we knew morse code and could knock to each other through the wall
She was pouring Goldschlager in my mouth during the shower sex. How can you NOT like her?
He doesn't want a full on relationship, he provides me with all the weed I can handle and gives me multiple mind blowing orgasms. He's my soul mate.
I can't tell if my heart is fluttering because I love him... or if it's palpitating from all the coke.
When i was leaving for work this morning, i realized the neighbor was passed out drunk, with no pants, and a half eaten whopper on my lawn. Knowing that hey..we have all been there before.. i decided to give him a pillow and a blanket rather than wake him up.
I banged a marine last night. No wonder everybody respects them.
Well, thanks for not letting me sleep with anyone, but no thanks for telling everyone I have the clap.
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