Just kissed her with a dip in my mouth... She was either too drunk to notice or too cool to care
So while she was giving me a lap dance I told her I quit med school. Just so she didn't feel like the only one who's made bad decisions in their life.
There are rumors he has a square penis....ill do anything though....
somehow I got talked into dressing up like a hot dog, spinning around ten times, and shooting lay ups in front of thousands of students
writing the newer testament. It's the 3rd for the series. I'll update u the rule changes later.
WAIT U DIDN'T FEED THE SQUIRREL?
Maybe you should start carrying pepper spray. You are like the Justin Bieber of lesbians.
Probably not well advised, but you're welcome to stop by if your not ready to end your night. You know, for Thanksgiving's sake.
The object of the game was to pour tequila into a sombrero and drink as much as you can before it leaked through, 'Big Papi' won.
someday i'll meet a woman who will love me for my marvelous breasts and ignore my many character faults.
I'm too drunk to explain this to you. It's too hard.
I woke up to both of you drawing on me in sharpie, unless a glorious threesome was had the night before that is not okay.
Who says it wasn't?
We just broke up and deleting his dick pics is the hardest thing I've ever had to do.
I melted cheese on my pizza rolls. When I die make sure someone melts cheese on my rolls.
I got a message the other day that just said “great tits”
A gentleman AND a scholar
Randomize
