She thinks she is all that and a bag of skittles but I'm definitely not tasting the rainbow...
dude i was like still drunk, taking pictures of her while she was naked and asleep and she woke up
haha what'd she say
i don't know man, something about us dating. but i never talked to her sober so i said i was making breakfast and snuck out of her house. close calls man WTF
I do no wrong. I am always right. Right? I forget why I am sending this. It seemed relevant.
I'm wearing an NBA shooting sleeve while jerking off...and yes my arm has stayed warm
Dude this breakup has officially hit rock bottom. sitting around watching women's NCAA basketball instead of going out
The bar owner gave me permission to push people into the pool. I'm never going to leave Los Angeles
you took the tequila shot and then procceded to eat the lime..we told you to spit it out but you just straight face kept chomping
I want to throw pennies on her stage, or just ripping up a dollor bill and throw them one at a time.
You screamed "There's a potato in my anus" and proceeded to attempt to grind with the bouncer. Also, I'm pretty sure our Chem teacher was in the same bar as us.
It would have to be recorded, because that sex tape would be humanity's primary evidence of miracles
We should get Al Michaels to provide commentary for it.
btw my frat has a search out for you. the "girl who threw up in the middle of the party" but it was on some fat girls. so thank you.
Well, my mom found the ball gag and whip. Looks like I'm never going home again.
beggars cant be choosers....im desperate and he has a dick. he checks all the boxes.
Just told my mom life fisted my asshole. She looked at me with complete understanding. I'm scared...
Gameplan: If the cops show up, find a potted plant to hide behind... It's worked before!
Randomize
