3:38a: you guys up to anything right now?
You guys coming?
We are smoking out the bouncer? But after that sure
my door was closed and her door was closed but even over the r.kelly playing at full blast i was able to hear her say "THAT'S NOT THE RIGHT HOLE!". Def rethinking my roommate situation.
I told him it was like a man's penis, but smaller.
I had to remind him that there is no "age exchange rate" between the u.s. and spain, and that 16 will always equal 16
He asked me how my body knew that a month was up when it was time for my period.
So you threw a sword at me last night
I honestly wish I could say that I was surprised.
I should show up to the gym drunk more often. I felt like i really motivated all the fat people.
The good thing about having holes in your nose from all the drugs you do is that you can't smell nasty things. Like puke.
...if you're living vicariously thought me, that was a great blow job you just gave in the B&N parking lot.
I feel like our relationship should have moved on from you constantly asking if I'm gay
I got pushed into some bald man in the pit and spent the next few minutes with my face against his head. Man I love ecstasy.
Did he think I was flirting with him when I ordered a hot dog bc no
My roommate fed me my birth control pill while I was hungover laying on the couch so that's how my morning has been
Sabotage it. Cum quick. Make it awkward so you don't hurt her feelings. Who says nice guys finish last?
Randomize
