I'm sorry that spending new years with you was fucking my boyfriend in your bathroom multiple times
You need to get here now. Before they realize I'm not puerto rican.
someone just drove by blasting livin on a prayer and threw like 6 bagels out the window... was it you?!
No it's cool, He's been doing my English papers in exchange for lap dances since the eleventh grade. We're very professional.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Dude in front of me just jumped out of line at Starbucks to go puke. Vegas in prime form.
I made her a sippy cup with eggnog and whiskey. My meditation app told me to go the extra mile for someone today, so I did.
I think animal control just caught me smoking a bowl on the back porch. Do they have any say in this matter?? Haha
I may not have eyeballs after all the drunk naked people having sex outside.
You threw my heel at her from across the street... And hit her in the back of the head so hard she face planted into the street. I need more friends like you.
This is the first time I'm hearing this information.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Ok spinning in the opposite direction thatg the room was spinning was the worst advice ever
Then he started caressing my eye brow. Like repetedly. For at least 15 minutes. It was strangely mesmerizing
He drops f bombs like every other word and he just gave me 127 shares of tmobile stock for free. I feel like I should pay him back in blow jobs or something.
I just got my evaluation. My manager told me he hated my guts and pretty much wanted to stab me in the face. Then he gave me an "exceeds expectations" on pretty much everything and a raise.
Is it weird that I only look up my ex on Twitter when I take a shit? May have conditioned myself to associate him with shit
he force fed me pizza, ripped my clothes off, almost broke the couch, and actually broke my nose. it was a good night, i'd say 😂
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