i'm watching the tyra show: "women who beat up their boyfriends" - lets see how she can make THIS one all about herself too.
so, my congressman just called me to say he has office hours this week if i'm still interested in talking to him. i pray to god this is not related to Friday.
His body is just chiseled out of sex. I would let that man do anything to my body. Including fuck me while my parents watch
will i regret this in the morrning? probably. but every decision is good during happy hour
Alas, very true. I'll sell some of my eggs and give you like 10%
And with my 90% I'll get a scooter with a sidecar. And a pony. Also with sidecar.
I'm silent, like a masturbating ninja.
What has two arms, one testicle and no credit card debt? This guy.
do you know how hard it is to bring up the "what do I do if you conk out while we're fucking" conversation while maintaining the dignity of.the narcaleptic girl you just met?
First table when you walk in. Can't miss us. I'm wearing a feather boa and a green hat
You had me at first table
so my pro life roomate found a used condom wrapped up in her sheets with your panties. never letting you have sex in her bed again
I just want to sing to him and rub baby oil on his head
Are you saying being a wizard and going to hogwarts wouldn't be life changing, believe in magic you fucking muggle
it was cool until he whispered 'sounds like you need a good dicking' with a completely serious face and i just lost it
We sexted for four hours straight. Is this really what my life has come to?
Wait you took his virginity AND broke his bed doing it
I know! I’m the best!
Randomize
