thank god he doesn't hang out with everyone else i've had sex with
well, yeah, he can't fit the whole neighborhood in his apartment
the highlight of my day was when my dad called me when I was watching porn and I muted it instead of pausing it.
she's throwing things again.. almost stabbed herself in the eye with a fork.
Heading to the gym, the one that guy said he goes to. Already checked online, his class is at 5. And no, this isn't too much after meeting him last night. Stop judging me,
Also, at 1:30 I emailed myself saying, "are you there Margaret? It's me, god"
We bonded over blowjobs and stories of our childhoods. It was beautiful.
Judging by the fact that he asked me if i wanted to serenade him using cocaine and Taylor Swift I'd say I so have it in the bag.
Thought it only fitting this Jubilee weekend to snort lines with a 50 note
Your patriotism amazes me, the Queen would be proud!
On the bad side I puked, but on the bright side I puked lettuce which was a new experiance
I texted him 3 days ago he said he was pre gaming for the Super Bowl today he just text" gtomajg kaka hee 48!!!"
Sadly, she's the porn star that got away
I am going to go Miley Cyrus crazy if I don't get sex soon
Headline in the alligator: young zeta goes berserk after lack of sex and is found naked swinging from wrecking ball on university ave, refuses to get down until sex partner is found
I feel like a pile of chihuahua shit that got eaten by a Great Dane who puked it up and then set it on fire.
CODE RED CODE RED MY VIBRATOR IS BROKEN THIS IS NOT A DRILL
How many more times can I say I need to get laid before you kill me?
Randomize
