It's not true, it's not true! She's too full of cheese to have sexy time!
I just ran into the couch, vagina first.
I hope you got dinner out of it
if i found out she had a dick after i got head, does that still make me gay?
Why is your vibrator in the fridge?
I'm testing sex in Alaska before I go there.
Just woke up. Need to shower and fuck. Be there when I'm done disappointing. Should be 30.
we smoked out of your homemade aunt jamima bong
Yea... you were given too many get out of jail free cards. God just gave up on you having a healthy and happy vagina.
Lets get real here, ive seen your moms breasts multiple times
his version of basketball was throwing hot sauce packets down my cleavage at taco bell at 2 am with his buddy.the cashier kept score
My aunt comes over, haven't seen her in 4 years. First thing, looks me up and down and goes "...yup, that pair ripened nicely. Theyll get you some free drinks"
I think you were raised by the wrong sister
It's getting harder and harder to fake orgasms as I get older.
Well just give me the address, I'll bring the bourbon. If they let that into mental institutions
Girl... I just woke up with a bloody mary in a to go cup on my nightstand and two hours late for work.. I'm sorry i can't go out on weekdays anymore. Luckily my boss was just happy i was ok
Did you make it home alright?
No I'm sitting under a tree by a cricket. He's alone crying out for someone to Fuck him. This guy gets me.
Right. Cuz nothing screams "You made it!" quite like selling your used underwear to strangers you met on the internet.
Randomize
