fuck, i never want to drink again I drunk dialed matt last night and broke up with him the second night in a row. FUCK QUADFEST
i just broke my key off in the door of my house because the engine wasnt starting
I projectile vomited into my sink. Jealous?
Kind of. My puke would have just dribbled down my chin and missed the sink completely.
Ohh that happened after I started to cry.
He smothers me through text. I can't even image what he'd be like in person.
I love girls that fake tan. Can you say p p p p p p p p pumpkin face
dipping my christmas cookies in kaluha. santa would be proud.
I'm sad your dog died... Her name is my stripper name.
Now he's crying and asking for 'the cameras' to come out. The one cop is laughing
It wasn't even dirty talking, it was more like the soothing gentle nonsense noises you make when you've spooked a horse.
I don't care who you bring as long as they are fun and not a cop
His life is a porno. He snapped me while banging a girl in the back of the ambulance.
Broke my ankle and blacked out on my scooter last night. 'Twas grand.
You just kept telling everyone to call you MFT.. Mother Fucking Tornado.
I climbed to the top of a stripper pole and touched the ceiling. Accomplishment?
he offered to let me fuck his brother , of course im marrying him
Randomize
