I always see him when I'm wearing my ripped pants. I think its because of the hole in the crotch. My vag sends out supersonic "I'm horny" waves to him. Otherwise the calls are muffled.
I just remembered we were doing butt clenching exercising with bar straws last night
we lost you for like an hour and then found you at some dive bar trying to teach dance lessons
I just won 10 dollars from out chugging the bar tender and I found out that the baby aint mine in the last hour. I don't even care if l get laid tonight any more.
There were 4 naked women demanding my presence. Of COURSE I got into the pool.
You weren't a difficult drunk to take care of. I just had to stop you from plunging the toilet once or twice.
He just said "fuck you" to the bowl he's eating things out of
Hes still mad that I left the room mid-hookup to go get a pickle from the fridge.
Dude, you sent that text at 9:44 AM. Who thinks of drugs that early?
I just woke up eating some beef jerky with my cat. I think she opened the bag for us.
Ok not good, my info has definitely been submitted to this sugar daddy website before.
I mean he did ask and he said it's cold out but i didn't realize we were that comfortable hahaha sex is one thing but borrowing a sweatshirt?
Locking that text forever.
Haha, maybe if he wasn't dressed up like Kimmy Gibler he could give her the D
Happy birthday and sorry I punched your friend in the face
He's gone. He left a note but all it says is "Dear Neil" followed by a drawing of a hand flipping the bird in the direction of a butt.
Randomize
