out of nowhere you said let us see your boobs, then proceeded to pull my shirt down.
i gets down
there's something so ridiculous to me about watching someone with glasses exercising. it's like watching a whore studying in the library. stop trying to be someone you're not.
i can't, i'm blowing bubbles in class and getting credit for it
Homeless guy on the metro is drinking beer out of a coke bottle. Hello friend.
Vodka and Eggs at 9:30AM = thank you, America.
I wore a leash I'll tell you about it later I had a fantastic time
remember.. you're not a homewrecker.. you're just creating options for him..
You were captain morganning on the laundry hamper and when I walked in you slingshotted a thong at me and started peeing. This all came back to me when I picked up some jeans to wear and they smelled like piss.
Opened my purse to realize I have someone else's birth certificate. What happens to me in college?
We got a kitchen table so we would eat together more. So far we've played drunken monopoly and had sex on it.
Anyway, it's clearly a shapeshifting vagina/AT-AT, which I never said I was SEXUALLY attracted to. Just that I liked it.
Omg my brain. Most recent thought: I fucking prayed in the bathroom that the other girl would leave. Prayed to Jesus
she broke a 50 dollar bottle of alcohol. then passed out in front of her car and got sprayed by a skunk
That same damn squirrel keeps staring at me like I did something wrong. Nature knows when you're hung over.
Like how do you live your life and have never made a grilled cheese? The audacity of some people
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