I love having hate sex.
he just asked me to email him a handle of captain morgans...how sober do you think he is?
every time i recognize a doctor or patient at the hospital on this rotation, i just pray it's not from my blackout saturday makeout slut moments...professionalism shouldn't count on weekends
I'm legit concerned I might pass out this weekend from having too much sex.
They both invited me to family dinner Sunday. Secretly dating two sisters just got real.
Hey bring in backup. its going to take a lot more beer than we think to fill up the water bed...
Pissed along side the highway while waving at all the traffic... if thats not a sign of a productive night to come then idk what is
I swear with his long flowing hair and god-like body he looked like Jesus, a bong hitting Jesus
Unless you can blow me and bake me a pie at the same time, im not impressed.
You were great dude. You wanted to charge the guy with fedora $100 to get in.
You were sitting in a chair and you said "I just feel like a little fishy, floooooating through the ocean, so pretty"
Doing a small happy dance cause my cocaine successfully went through airport security
you walked 30 min all the way back to the dorms at 2am?
i was more bummed that i dropped all my skittles.
There were a lot of gay moments in between the Strippers and coke
Is it too much to ask to have a life partner who has both male and female sex organs that looks cute and sounds like a female Antonio Banderas and likes to get weird?
Randomize
