I'm sorry, but you without makeup is like christmas without presents.
How much cunt could a cunt bag punch if a cunt bag could punch cunt?
woke up with 15 BAGS of hot dog buns in my passenger seat... jameson strikes again
The best part was that when I woke up, I poked her with my dick to wake her up, and said, "Hi, I'm Alex. Nice to meet you". Shoulda seen the look on her face. Priceless.
She said to delete the bj video, but I accidentally hit the 'send to her bf' button. My bad
yea i thought the egg drop soup tasted weirdly like cum, and then i suddenly remembered what happened last night.
i'm never eating chinese again.
Well yes but because of that incident i now salute to truck drivers
He walks in. We each have a tiki torch. We say, the tribe has spoken. We put his out and then stab him with it.
Ohmygod. I don't know if I can explain how great it'll be. I hope you don't mind Subaru sex
I'm getting high with a 50 year old car wash guy. Enough said.
Woke up with a $50 attached to my penis with a rubber band..
Sweet. Tell little Richard to buy us a sack and a pizza.
Burnt food and a broken vibrator. Disappointment after disappointment. Is April a man?
For the love of god, if any of you are up, bring me pants.
I'm not drunk or hungover and I don't have to work. My body is sooo confused!
He ate me out while I was wearing a canada goose parka and a dress hand crafted by a seamstress from yellowknife. I came while watching the northern lights. Most arctic orgasm ever.
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