Let's get naked and see who's stronger.
what has become of my life if the best thing thats happened to me this week is that i discovered my cleavage as the best hiding spot ever for weed.
The freshman sure do fuck up the whataburger line at 2am
I have minimal recognition and a lot of burns on my tongue and my vagina hurts.
Hey I think I found part of your tooth next to your wine bottle in the floor board of my car.
The good news is that I can 100% reassure you that you did not get knocked up by some creepy Italian dude named Sal Manella last night.
The bad news is that you will never know the name of the guy who may have gotten you pregnant last night because he clearly gave you a fake name, sweetie.
If she's steering anything, it's a religious boat of crazy. Destination: Iceberg.
We are going to need a water proof camera with a flash....exit routes....lots of booze.....and a tutu for good measure
Not sure how ur night is going, but unless u also saw a naked drunk chick pissing outside i doubt it can top mine
Dude are you being arrested? I swear I just saw you laying on the hood of your car with a cop patting you down...
The bottle brush for the bong worked really well to clean the brownies out of the waffle maker.
I just made mac at 3:10 am... My life is falling apart...
Little does she know that you've out-sourced your conscience to a girl who doesn't even wear pants on a regular basis
Let me atleast have my coffee before you start talking about your penis
I am a unicorn in a field of flowers, you asshole.
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