how about we just leave your boyfriend out of this
It was ok at first, but now im getting freaked out by him jerking off to me doing yoga
the worst part of it wasnt him peeing on the xbox. it was when he showed me his penis and made a kissy face at me. THAT was painful.
They only remember me when they're drunk...I'm like a suppressed memory.
I decided to have standards now that i've graduated. No guys without a bed frame.
I woke up and found 10 txts from him. All sent at 6:30 am, and all about the muffin man.
Its 6:30 and I'm shotguning a busch ice while taking a shit. Outlook for work today: interesting
I just listened to "Eye of the Tiger" and did 5 shots to prep going over to see him.
But mostly the blowjob in the airport bathroom was what I was laughing at.
I would sacrifice a finger for two more hours of sleep.
That time we were having sex when you were super drunk, I kept yelling out, "Oh God," and you said, "You're going to need him after this." Idk why I suddenly thought of that.
I was doing karaoke to "baby got back" and apologizing for being white at the same time.
Mom and I shoplifted today. Her idea.
Retirement sounds fun.
I dont even remember what i was saying but just one minute i was crying and the next i was showing u my genitals
You know why I love being a regular at this bar? It's because at a certain point last call is only a suggestion.
Randomize
