That guy youre talking to looks like Brian from Family Guy.
Baton twirling is one of his activities on facebook.
Also he is "an Ohio stae gran champion twirler". You cannot tell me he's straight
So the "just a friend" kid confessed his love for me...sometimes I hate how awesome I am.
Just bought a german beer stein with tuition cash. no regrets
Numbies before the dentist, such a good idea.
So what's the verdict on pumpkin smoothies with vodka? I puked.
Does Jim keep sending you pics of him in drag too???? If so, are you also slightly uncomfortable?
So he's compensating for a really small penis. Either that or he's a drug lord.
Dude, my sex life is so sad since I started having feelings.
Sleeping with just one person sucks
Xanax and full house Tuesday is now Percocet Sunday
We were drunk at 3am with no food. I sent him to the lobby with ninety cents for like a bag of chips and I swear on my life he came back with a meatball sub
...did you ask him where he got a meatball sub at 3:00am?
He just kept mumbling something about being a hunter/gatherer
Oh AND he got us two bags of chips.
Drunk me is having trouble keeping up with sober me's standards
I don’t know how you celebrated 4/20 but I set a Payless trash can on fire
I don't wanna SLEEP with him, I want to start bar fights with him. There's a difference.
100000% expect a picture of my ass in them
Randomize
