He never called back after I emailed him my booty call contract.
you might want to delete the history when you're done using the computer at work. did you ever find out what the white balls in your throat were?
mom just found 19 empty wine bottles in my closet. i hate spring cleaning
So yes, he's hot, a scorpio, an artist and a perfect cock. I think my bi train just arrived in gay town.
mid-sex i was thinking.. these are not the right balls slapping me
if you want blown tonight you're gonna have to take me up on that offer now. in less then 45 minutes you're gonna be blacked out and i'm not doing something i'm not getting credit for in the morning.
All I know is that we apparently made a drink we named The Single Girl which is rum, vodka, grain alcohol, and sprite and rolled around in the backyard.
You never know, some chick could have a weird unibrow fetish.
I've hit an all time low of asking baristas what would go good with marshmallow vodka. I think I might hire one to party with all of us. To make hangover drinks
The same guy who pierced my nipples just told me he can help tutor me in precalc.
I feel like getting drunk at the airport is sort of a rite of passage into adulthood, but maybe i should reserve that occasion for a flight thats not just 1 hr
Just had ice cream and a blow job come together in one glorious, defining moment.
When cunnilingus is one of the first 25 words you say to someone there's a problem
#reasonsyoushouldnthaveatinder
We peed together in a dark alley while holding hands. That is a bond that can never be broken.
You start to question your morals when you wake up at 430 and there's three people naked...that you don't no
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