I dont get it-she has sex with me but wont be my facebook friend?
How do I tell if what I'm covered in is pee or cum?
She literally thanked me for asking before I put in her ass
it's so much work when my dad takes my car to get fixed, i had to take out the bottles, condoms, and my pipe
the liquor store owner came out from behind the counter and kissed my cheek when he saw that i am back for fall semester
Do you think royal wedding drunk calls for wine or tequila?
she was masturbating to a video of herself masturbaing. She's a keeper
I feel like death gave me a hand job
I feel like our low point of the night was when we had to start chasing with ice cubes and wheat thins.
So we'll go out later for condoms and cake batter... aka grocery shopping for champions.
She saves ONE person's life while blacked out and now she's positive anything can be done "while fucking hammered"
I found him stumbling up to our building with a solo cup under his arm. . . He told me it was his favourite thing ever. He also told me hes never been drunk before.
I just remember looking over and seeing you on top of him and us high fiving. That's when I knew we'd be perfect roommates
And I'm glad you're waiting to invite him over. he may have a weird penis thing and then dinner becomes awkward.
He added me to his contacts as 'boot and rally'...have you ever been more proud to be related to me?
I can't wait to tell mom.
Randomize
