So I just passed a billboard for "Risque Cafe: Good food and topless women". Fuck. I love SC.
after drinking 6 jumbo margaritas he then proceeded to tell the entire restaurant that he was going to "bust a load in me" when we got home....how do you think the rest of my night went?
and she said "My body is an orphanage, I take everybody in"...
She sang Bad Romance to me. Not really the answer I was looking for.
First of all, I don't like eggnog. Second of all too much rum is all bad. And thirdly I'm not there to sit in your lap and pretend you are Santa and I've been a bad girl.
Did I get stoned on a sunday afternoon and speak to someone on the phone for an hour about cats and their behaviour? Glad you asked. And yes.
Nothing worse then being at the gym on the elliptical next to a guy looking at porn on his phone
That girl definitely just ate a hot dog and stared straight in to my eyes.
You should just construct a mini-city, actually. Then destroy, photograph and post. Who could turn down a dick that conquered a whole city? Craigslist personals wont know what hit it.
I'm missing my left shoe, and there's a note on my foot (in my handwriting) that says "HAHA BITCH" Any explanation for this?
The little girl I'm babysitting is having a tea party, the water and chips she's passing out are doing wonders for my hangover.
Omg my butt feels so much better. Those suppositories are magic. It feels like Jesus fingered me in my sleep.
Tomorrow we start training our livers for St.Patrick's day. May God be with us.
I would've fucked Winston Churchill - rode that D like I was going into battle.
I just found a nug casually in my room under my duffel bag. Is this a sign I need help?
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