margs and chips and queso make the world go round
well and inertia
when did we get to this "texting at random" level on friendship?
you refused to leave the drive-thru at mcdonalds until the cashier took a jello shot
Just ran interference for her again. Sometimes i wonder how many times in my life i'll have to be a cock block at the clinic
shes laying on the floor in a bowl of salsa with her pants half off and she's crying... i dont know what to do...
We have literally factored in $2200 for bail money in the budget. This vegas trip will be out of hand. We are signing confidentiality contracts.
Now he's lighting his socks on fire
You were yelling in my ear let's double team her with her right next to us
Well he can play the xylophone with his erect cock... So he's got that going for him
He was twisted. Literally. It's like God took his dick with a pair of pliers and gave it a half twist to the left.
and i do believe that will be the last time you send me a photograph of our mother in her underwear.
I'm the Oprah of jello shots
Just remember, it's never too late to make a porno
That awkward moment when you hear your boss yelling during sex while you're on her couch eating Easy Mac.
I don't care how many things you caught on fire, it's still not as bad as doing coke and then filming yourself having sex.
Randomize
