turns out a healthy dose of cleavage is the equivalent of a swig of felix felicis
Mom's drinking. Just asked her if she was good to walk back to the condo. She seemed unsure until she remembered she brought the GPS. We are 2 blocks from the condo.
I need to stop making out with boys in plain view of half my class.
He looked like Harry Potter. I had to do it.
i just went to use the bathroom this morning and I couldn't because there was someone puking in every stall. i'm going to miss the dorms this summer
I know I know. I considered playing it sober but after I typed out IS SHE A GENIE? I knew it was impossible to hide.
I got to the point where it seemed like she had 8 giant breasts instead of just two
Yes perhaps we are both wrong. And did you call me bj girl?
And then out of the blue she sent me a youtube video mashup of cats puking to techno music
To do list: put blue gatorade in a windex spray bottle. spray it into my mouth in public so people think i'm drinking windex.
Either I'm paranoid or I swear my parents rigged my house so you can never sneak in or have the munchies without being loud.
The guy at the bar repeatedly told us he was an off duty cop from out of town, that to normal people would be the time where you stop asking him to smoke a blunt with us
Of course it may just be the context. A dish of dog food would look lovely next to your breasts.
The Australian strangers convinced me to leave him behind when they started chanting Aussie Aussie Aussie, Oy Oy Oy, and told me they had a bunch of beer at their place.
She caught me by google maps... Lets just say it wasnt her car in front of the house.
You ran full speed into the glass door with your Patron and yelled "FEEL THE RHYTHM, FEEL THE RHYME"
Randomize
