ill find time for any girl whos not afraid to grab my junk in front of 100 people
If it makes you feel better, I doubt anything could survive in your uterus.
You showed the cops outside of the bar your boobs and then decided to go apologize to them. They admitted that the reason they hung out there was because of girls like you.
according to the random from alabama i slept with last night i kept saying "poor lil tink tink" over and over in my sleep
No no I got the black eyes when I tried to do a flip off the second deck of a pontoon boat. Actually when I did a flip, it was a success.
He's a forty-something balding gay man with no boundaries or sense of social norms. Of course we should befriend him.
Okay so for future reference and your own safety I should probably tell you that it is not cranberry juice in that bottle on the kitchen table.
He ripped off his socks and ran around the basement barefoot. His feet turned black. Then he chugged Parmesan cheese. He chugged dry cheese dude.
I figure even if it starts out as just sex I can bang him into loving me
Make sure you plan your visit for October. That's ACL festival, it's like every Bro in the country converges on Austin. My vagina wants to go hunting.
I'm sorry I didn't get you anything for your birthday
It's just you didn't get me the fucking bear suit last year
Just zoned back in to real life and found myself chanting "noodle eater noodle eater noodle eater" at my parrot as he devoured a single macaroni
How do I send someone an apology text for giving them a lap dance in the middle of a party last night?
He and I tag each other in memes all day. You could say it's getting pretty serious.
What do I have to do?! Spell it out for him? Why can't he just plow me and pull my hair at the same time
You are my new hero
Randomize
