the condom got lost in my hair
i soberly give you permission to do that to me when im drunk
Exactly. I don't do penetration on the first date. Blowjobs however are perfectly acceptable.
I encourage the greeting beej. It determines if the dick is worth keeping around.
period poops. best. ever.
omigod im sitting here with ben and he and i both got that...chick you totally just mass texted that...
He invited me to see "alison wonderland" WHAT THE FUCK THATS NOT A FIRST NAME/LAST NAME TYPE DEAL
Seriously wondering if smoking a bowl for lunch was a bad idea.
OR THE BEST. STAY TUNED.
My ex was here I looked him in the eyes when I grabbed some other guy by his belt and dragged him to a room
the condom is still stuck, that's what I get for being responsible
I am the sex elephant in the room. Again.
Question: If I got in a car accident and lost my memory of us, would you work your way back just so we could be fuck buddies again?
I'm watching The Vow and just need to know that I'm loved in some way
I took did three shots of fireball and did and handstand. When I stood up some busty slut lead me my the hand down the hall into her dorm room.
But I'm sure your having and "a monumentally better time" repeating the 12th grade
Would you think less of me if I said I was eating a toaster strudel in the bath.
Haha I'M GOING TO MISS HIS PENIS SO MUCH. But not his bipolarness.
3.5 bazillion penises. So not that hard to find a new good one
who gets drunk at chipotle by noon and then gets kicked out? this chick.
My boss just offered me a vodka mixed drink at work I do not have a real job
Randomize
