no weekend plans? you're practically married
just without the last name or joint bank account
i'd advise against both
what has become of my life if the best thing thats happened to me this week is that i discovered my cleavage as the best hiding spot ever for weed.
I mean what are real friends for if they won't hold down your wedding dress to allow for a keg stand
you try finding a go kart track at 4 AM on Thanksgiving
Just saw a woman with a Pomeranian in her bra. Way to step up your game Seattle.
I just met the neighbor hes a self proclaimed coke dealer/ softporn producer.
Fortunately for myself I'm twice as smart and half as drunk as everyone else. All things considered I'm leaving here three-to-five times richer than when I arrived.
Are you aware that you called me "Sexy clit lady" last night?
They sleep with other people as long as there is no oral. Logic and reason were thrown out the window a long time ago with them.
Negotiating with my body. We're ok. Violent upheaval is not necessary.
Shia just rubbed his beard the way I do all the time and maybe he's my soul sister. This live stream is life changing.
So, I actually said the words "but face tattoos are sexy"
I will pepper spray him so fast I don't even care
Threw up on break at work. That brings our collective tally to 9 times. We can never drink like that on a monday again
I found my bra I wore on Friday night...he fucked the underwire out of it
hahahahaha
Randomize
