I have way too many pictures of poop on my phone
Literally just as i started to cum the church bells next ot my house began to ring. either it was the most epic timing ever or god was watching and congratulating me
They were lying down in the parking garage pretending to be speed bumps...
going to class with no bra.. is that saying "i don't give a fuck i'm one hour away from thanksgiving break?"
It's official. 2011 is the year of sport fucking
The bruises are from paintball. The money is from me being awesome
Spending 4 hours in the emergency room today tells me that your birthday party was a success.
.......The other day I peed on him in the shower....he was trying to touch my boobs and I wanted my space.
Will that be creepy to wake him up at midnight with my tongue all over his body??
The second I see you we're shot gunning beers
It's gonna be 8 o'clock in the morning
And your point is?
Marry me
I was afraid someone would drug test my pants so you set them on fire.
You were passed out by the toliet and when i said i had to pee you told me to piss in the sink. Never has a girl with alcohol poisoning been so rude.
It's election day and I was just tied up with an American flag scarf
He's a Republican and an Ohio State fan idk how far this can go.
My makeup bag looks like it has lips and wants to sing to me... Too high?
Randomize
