it actually wasnt that awkward...i planned on saying hello and walking away..then she asked if i wanted to go to lunch and i looked at her chest and said absolutely
why isn't there a fb relationship option that says 'still banging my ex'
ra ra ra ah ah
wtf?
sexting lady gaga style
We're the kind of people who ruin family vacations
Does puking on your bio final mean I can retake it?
wait a second. did i just remember you the other night referring to your tits as tia and tamara.....
All I had with a note saying that my shoes are in the ceiling and good luck.
..But I'm still alive. And thats the main thing
and ive been naked for the greater part of the evening. alone, drunk, and naked. i think that is how all great interventions start.
I reek of latex and grilled onions.
Mission accomplished.
Less than a month to graduation and I'm still blacking out on the reg tonguing down the closest breathing organism preferably with a penis but I'm flexible, and still havent figured out how to be functional on Fridays. WHY don't they teach us valuable shit at this institution!?
He came over in a blaze orange vest with a case of beer and a shotgun yelling about "Dove Season" then passed out in the lawn. There he lies
I feel like my foot is being amputated. Or maybe it's the vodka. I couldn't tell you.
My dad is clearly baked off his ass. He almost sat on moms cat in front of her, zoned out while staring at it and said he wondered what it was thinking about. Now he's dragging everything from the livingroom into the garage. Moms not happy.
On cleanup... i've counted 94 solo cups so far.. oh, and i found a miniature top hat in the microwave
Randomize
