The bar is filled with bros right now. Sucks I had to pay $5 to find that out.
He came through my line today and bought designer impostor perfume, just for men gel, and astroglide. I almost DIED.
just paid a stripper to have a minute conversation about the arizona game WTF
even if everyone didnt know them screaming eskimo brothers and high fiveing over my head kinda gave it away
Dude dan is so baked he taped his remote to the futon so he couldn't lose it again. Come over here
Dude you picked up her Chihuahua and threatened to kill it yelling "it's not cinco de mayo, bitches"
im gonna call it quits for tonight... I am so drunk I dont even have the motor skills to masturbate
That's what happens when you park you car under a perfectly good balchony I can puke off of
I may or may not have just sent the bartender a pic of me in my slutty cheerleader costume with the caption "rah rah ree, gimme yo d"
I found your pet lobster in the bathroom this morning. I went to return it to you but it escaped.
I'd like to thank you fucktards for dumping the WHOLE box of Tricuits in my bed after I passed out.
Alive.
So much puke
The cops came, and I made friends with him. He wants me to babysit his kids.
You know it was a weird week when you have a mystery bruise and youre unsure if it was from crazy sex or getting bit by a duck. Life.
I may have just sent her dad a picture of my penis. His name's Myron, right?
Randomize
