I jusy said out loud "gingers unite in the middle of the night"
Is there some kind of disinfectant spray people use? Why would anyone want to eat ass??
He's sitting on the floor holding his bracket and crying, literally crying... he just keeps saying "Kansas how could you?" over and over
see if i had a dick i'd definitely smack people in the face with it
Woke up to the sound of my own moans coming from the tv....evidently it was videotaped.
You called in. Quitter. You stayed at home naked drinking again didnt you.
They're making him take his shirt off cause they think he's the bouncer. We're in his backyard.
TOUCH YOURSELF. DO IT.
I don't think that's how you're supposed to sext
They flooded the bathroom and their version of cleaning it up was to throw our couch cushions on it. That's when I decided to chug tequila and go drunk bowling. So hitting the kid with my ball is really their fault.
I just spent 12 consecutive hours in the same outfit and none of it was pajamas. If that's not personal growth, I don't know what is.
You guys go ahead and have your romantic night. I'm gonna keep my vday tradition alive of angry banging a stranger.
Do you think you can chase a shot with chicken soup?
my mom asked me why i was covered in scratches, blood, and dirt this morning..i answered "i was planking obviously" and walked away
Who brings a stripper to breakfast at the dining hall? What was the plan? Impress her with his meal plan?
Apparently his ex was into edging and did it to him so much that it takes forever for him to cum
I hate you and your multiple orgasm sexcapades
Randomize
