I need hand sanitizer and jesus.
The Lord gave Farrah Fawcett 1 wish when she died. She wished that all children in the world would be safe! The Lord granted her wish and killed Michael Jackson.
You don't understand, alcohol has become a thing of survival for me and without it I can't function as a normal human being
this girl is having heart failure because she lost her feather...a gypsy blessed it in turkey. Not sure im high enough for this
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Slutapocalypse this thursday. Invite every freshieee you hooked up with this semester to my house. Think of it like a meet n greet for them and battle of the sluts for us.
My suggestion that we all just smoke some weed was greeted with a uncomfrotable silence and a 'maybe later'. These are not our people
She fell out the car soaking wet and screaming "im wearing a fedora!" then tryed to seduce him on the front lawn in front of his middle aged neighbor
I have effectively turned laundry day into a drinking game.
I broke down outside of an all boys correctional facility
well if that's not a gay porn waiting to happen, i dont know what is...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Watching my ex make out with another girl is weird.
But she's wearing a jumpsuit so I feel better.
i'll talk to you in three hours when you've stopped foaming at the mouth and your eyes have rolled back into place
I just wanna get drunk and watch Tarzan with you is that to much to ask?!?
Oh man
I hooked up with the lead singer of the band at the wedding. I am so hungover.
He's not very smart so he didn't know I was yelling at him with monologues from Scandal.
Aww you are cute. With your penis. And failures.
Randomize