WTF why am I in the Atlanta airport?
i think i have herpe
just one?
i seriously just saw a stripper from last weekend walk into the classroom next to me!!
when she asked me if it was possible to swim under north america i knew it was time to leave.
There was a picture of him proposing on the night stand and their dog watched, but I can't help myself, his dick is just so perfect.
The last thing I remember is ordering two Martinis while yelling 'CAN YOU PUT THAT IN ONE GLASS?'
dude, i woke up with a mini keg on my night stand. again. like wtf
i feel we're the only people who'd use nyquil sexually
She was into my hawaiian shirt and id never made out with a dinosaur... I feel like it worked out for everyone
Unfortunately, the Bilbo Baggins adventure side of me that likes to go on adventures appears to be losing to the side of me that likes to smoke weed in the bathtub and watch Workaholics.
i made this one couple from ohio so uncomfortable that they left....and that was WHEN I HAD PANTS ON
I really dont wanna go to a traffic light party. I have nothing red to pretend I'm taken with. Without something red my "my girlfriend is away in the mines" story wont work.
I woke up with my panties in the cat food dish, and everything covered in honey and bruises.
you can't let guys come on your chest and then hog my blanket
OMG I accidentally abducted a cat. Now there is a cat in my apartment. I NEED TO UNDO WHAT I HAVE DONE
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