stupid gm bankruptcy made me miss the showcase showdown
Those cock suckers. We need to know who's winning the hot tub and the vacation to the alps
Just walked pass a bum on the way to a coinstar... awkward
you asked a group of latinas stood by the bar to hold a minutes silence for ugly betty getting cancelled. that drunk.
You had sex with him even after he literally described himself as a "coldplay guy"? There's a line you just don't cross. There is a line.
Chinese roommate asked me this a.m when u left if all girls here have multiple boyfriends..
Since he's sober and out of jail, he acts like we are the worst people on Earth. Fuck him, the only acceptable time in life to do coke is the early twenties. He won't take that from us.
before the moonshine you were already braiding the bouncers beard -_-
Took three klonopin and turned all my jeans into jorts. I miss you
Shitty. Well if it makes you feel any better I just had a toothless wasted crackhead in my bar who was mad because there are TOO MANY FUCKIN TREES in Nantucket.
We walked in and someone handed her an unopened bottle of jack with her name on it. She's like a drunken celebrity.
I literally stopped banging her when my ESPN app alerted me that the Spurs had won. That's how much I hate Lebron. I would rather watch him cry in the post game interviews than get it in
Your first mistake was thinking that you could get through the day without drinking a single bottle of alcohol. Your second mistake was wearing shark boxers.
Truth be told it's significantly easier to get over someone when they file a police report on you
So...a chick sucked my crank...now her dog is licking my feet. I feel like a pharoh on vacation.
Just called to hear your voice and talk about pizza.
Randomize
