Just wanted to let you know that if you need my services as a male dancer for his birthday, let me kno so I can clear my schedule
Riding a fattie is like riding a scooter, its ok just not in public.
We stole some shitttt from king sooper's. fuck yeaaa
what did you steal
frozen pizza, cat litter, and preperation H. not much different than my usual grocery list.
If your still trying to figure out the moment I stopped caring; it was the point in which you said "I really wasn't sure whose baby it was"
I thought about farting is his face when he was going down on me last nite.
i leave for school in 3 days. if you want your annual goodbye blow job you should probably call me
she's sitting alone using her breathalyzer as a kazoo. help.
We tried to line dance with everyone but it turned into drunken stumbling and attempting to grind on random frat boys. I feel that this might turn into an every Thursday thing.
I deleted his number so I had to go into my old voicemails which are saved through my gmail and search his name... Never underestimate the resourcefulness of a drunk girl on a mission for dick
Shirtless guy staggering down the sidewalk, puking into a Prada shopping bag. Ahhh, the walk of shame in Boystown.
I was fed cake in bed and then was pinned down and ridden till I came. And then fed more cake. I'm going to marry Brad. I'll put money on it.
Their children would look like the Michelin man and smell like chef Boyardee
If you hear death cries, thats me singing. Just let me be.
You're the only person I know who's experienced a micropenis and a magnum XL penis
u would mumble something and then get unnecessarily loud and say random shit like 'id fuck the shit out of taylor hanson right now'
Randomize
