You ever start fucking a girl and realize she kinda looks like your mom?
According to the transitive property, he has now had dick in his mouth.
apparently he couldn't remember my name so he refereed to me as whats-her-boobs and everyone knew that it was me he was talking about
It was good I woke up with my mattress on top of me. I walked around naked the whole night as people wished my Happy Birthday.
Eh, not fuck buddies. I prefer sexercise partner.
Just don't let me fall on anything that can be broken. Unless its a dick
jake and the teradactyl broke up, operation get high and find him a new girl who hasn't had sexual experiences with three delts simultaniously is in full effect.
Lets watch game of thrones and have sex every time someone is naked. It'll be like a drinking game but better.
Well I just found the most comfortable way to pass out on my toilet if I ever have to.
Its a good thing to know for upcoming events.
So on a scale from 1-10 how gross is it that I used mortuary makeup on my own face?
That was when I yelled "Wisconsin powers activate!" and took off sprinting across the ice
My Sexting was not on an AP level
Which president had the biggest dick?
Take your time, I'll wait
i told someone my fallback plan was to be a slutty bartender and i needed the practice as i straddled them to pour a shot
all my friends are getting married and here i am in a committed relationship with rum
Randomize
