Stop everything. They have oreo straws to drink milk with and then you eat the straw. I think i just got turned on by a cookie commercial.
I really like him. That's why I'm having sex with someone else, so he doesnt think i'm a slut.
She can't keep using her latex allergy as an excuse to go bareback with everyone.
I'm pretty sure he jizzed in his pants, and no it wasn't even half as funny as that song.
he walked out as i was licking snow off of his car...
dude I'm not 100% but I think your mom is sexting me.
When hitting a Woodchuck bottle with a machete, glass will fly back and cut your face.
I hope you did not try this.
Dude. It's not even nine. I don't know yet.
Drink number four. Don't even tell me about its not even nine
So what are you going to be for halloween?
A woman sitting on her couch watching Hocus Pocus.
You rope them in with the looks and the boobs, and I'll bore them into submission with random trivia. We can't lose.
Should I be scared that after we hooked up she took antibiotics with Sailor Jerry's?!
It's a sad statement on my day when the high point was getting a pap test.
I'm eating chocolate cake while this guy snaps me from the gym. Like I cant believe i actually considered getting rid of this cake. Have fun sweating ima eat this cake 👌
He just looks like he'd be good in bed. He looks like he has a lot of anger built up in him and all I'm saying is that if he took out on my vagina I'm cool with that
You can't just bring up bondage and then stop answering me
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