I just ate an adderall and jelly sandwich in front of my mom. Homework time!
so i replaced his speed with my ped egg shaveings
dont u have athletes foot?
Well It's time to grow up anyways, right? Now that you're graduated and have a job you can't drink uncontrollably
No. Now that I'm graduated I can drink uncontrollably at nicer bars
it's not cheating when I paid for it
The stories of what you did in Cuba got home before you.
new rule: cockblock me if I have had over a fifth of jack. no matter what.
she's bipolar. she literally has TWO facebook pages. one for each personality. this. bitch. is. crazy.
im sitting in a tub with a sombrero on.. im just kind of confused.
there's another hole in my ceiling...someone fell through the attic this time....
They showed a guy on tv in a Brady jersey and a sweatpants boner when the NE offense took the field. They didn't show his face. I hope that wasn't you.
I'm currently eating a turkey dinner, listening to xplosive by dr. Dre, and drinking rum. Hispanic christmas dinners are the best.
You asked me if I was judging you for being drunk, and if I can hypnotize you make sober.
I wouldn't say I LOVE Pacman. I mean, sure, I'd battle against you in an epic Pacman struggle for blow jobs and glory. But I mean, who wouldn't?
Do you think if I had a tempurpedic bed he would still be able to feel me fingering myself after we have sex?
no no no no you can't just say your dirtiest secret is "i sat on goldfish by accident once" and just leave i have QUESTIONS
AT LEAST TELL ME IF THE GOLDFISH WAS STILL IN A BOWL??????????????
Randomize
