Holy shit! This guy had his hands and feet handcuffed and was scooting across the interstate and we almost hit him because it was so dark. I hate Louisiana.
She smells like mac and cheese, right after you add the cheese. It's strangely erotic.
shut up. I wear heels bigger than your dick
Sorry for calling you a whore in front of your mom. World cup brings the worst out of me.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I fell asleep with my vibrator still in me. I am the Queen of Sad Masturbation.
It was cool in an 'oh shit I'm gonna get arrested' way.
She still cant shoot whiskey?
Im having serious doubts about this relationship
So this guy is eyeing me from across the bar. Either the girl I hit on next to him is his girlfriend or he's her gay best friend. I should show him my Penis and find out.
Dude. Do it.
Definitely her date. But she saw it too. So now he used to be her date. Why can't this stuff Happen when I'm sober?
He insisted he brought his alarm clock everywhere, and then the girl screamed "fuck French people!"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
NO I WOULD NOT GET A GUMMER FROM A GRANDMOTHER
Im rolling face in a pizzeria. I want to be with people who love me.
Did I seriously kick a door down last night... And if so when where and how hard, cause that shit I do not recall.
My concierge just asked me to his place for dinner while I was signing for a delivery. The delivery was a box of vibrators. Let's discuss.
Beer Olympics must happen in honor of the legit Olympics.
Pretty sure I just pissed straight whiskey...
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