She was like a white Oprah, but with less conviction.
Denial is the first step to alcoholism…and I don't hate it
hell yes lets make some ravioli
And just as he was about to come, he screamed "Oh Christy!!"
What's wrong with that? Your name IS christy.
He then said, "Oh shit, sorry Julie."
I think I just sat on my labia. Can I borrow some scotch tape?
I just heard a guy scream "it must be five o' clock!!" and another guy screamed "somewhere!!!" out from different balconies.
All I know is that it's pretty damn mean to put a glass wall in a bar.
I legit just said "vaginal access denied" then told him his password hint was "tequila shots"
I just stuck my fingers down her throat so she could puke. I mean what are friends for
Oh my god she just threw up on her dog
High with mom again. She's giving me relationship advice.
I think I may have accidentally stepped in fire
We're both clumsy. What does this imply for our kids?
Helmets.
Some dude just said my hair smells like his pillows
Quick, I need a picture of your dick. Don't ask questions, just show me your genitals.
He climbed on the counter and announced it was time for something called The Cocktacular and all the girls immediately left. He cockblocked the entire fraternity!
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