He has such a weird drunk-voice.
dude, he's deaf.
Dude, just walked by a homeless guy pissing on the sidewalk while he was screaming at his wang. God, I love this city.
I just saw a guy wearing a tuxedo shirt under his overalls. That is true iowa class right there
She swallowed my jizz and then took a shot of jack daniels and said "chaser." This cant be real life.
how does a 20 year old who hasnt gone through puberty yet score the game winning goal? fuck sidney crosby and his small nuts.
Just found a dugout in my rental car glove box. Suddenly my mood is upbeat.
How's your Sunday morning ritual of shitting and throwing up at the same time going?
Take advantage man but know that every anal bead u drop inside her will make her love u 2% more. It's science
...then she kept trying to make balloon animals with my flacid penis. I'm never drinking whisky with you again.
Just heard the girl at the bar cuss her bf out and order a long island ice tea. Going to give it 5 min then I'm going in. See you on the other side.
I hope you enjoy this collage I made of you and me getting fucked up together
My fuck buddy is great and all, but it gets weird when she gets in arguments with her BF in the driveway
I fell asleep masterbating while watching family guy... This is what happens when girl's night gets canceled
Would giving a bouquet of flowers to my mother be a good way to say, "sorry you walked in on my boyfriend eating me out"?
I currently need breakfast in bed, morning sex, and a bourbon and diet coke. Make this happen
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