Sarah Palin just got hired for Fox News. Watch out Jersey Shore... there's a new drinking game in town
Well, you're either very drunk or very high but I'll let it slide because I love any type of conversation concerning cheese.
there's another hole in my ceiling...someone fell through the attic this time....
At the same time. Hot men feeding me brownies. In between rounds of sex.
did we decide the 'sorry about the threesome' cake was too flippant?
Im pretty sure that girl just said "Im taking you home even if your girlfriend has to come too." Why are we here again?
NoShamevember. You game?
Also, sorry about chilling in just the towel last night. You know I have ADD and somehow even after looking at you, I forgot I'm not the only person living there right now
Using mass transit when I'm hungover makes me feel like I missed my calling as a serial killer
There's an owl outside. I feel like he's hooing directly at me.
so I may or may not have had intense sex to mozart's greatest hits on vinyl... I don't know if I should be proud or just really disappointed in my nerdness
For a second I thought that you were becoming a decent person again. I am glad I was wrong.
I just ordered a five person drink for myself.... Right about now you should start saving me from myself....
So you're willing to shred any respect that you had for your body on some random chick who's only looking for sex? That's the worst thing I've ever heard.
I mean, it won't be 100% meaningless, I know her middle name.
Probably some sort of karmic revenge for me looking at titties somewhere along the way
and for that you shall suffer
God: I won't strike you down, but I shall introduce your child to Doja Cat during a quarantine
Randomize
