You did that once after drunk driving from a photo shoot
That was very cool/italian of you
Which brings me to my next point, how come italians are so well adapted to drunk driving
I dont get chicks, its like they only care about themselves and money
sounds like you understand them just fine
Once you see the odd facial expressions and noises a guy makes while he is furiously beating off on top of you, it kind of puts things into perspective.
i am so afraid to go to the bathroom. i am afraid i am going to fall asleep on the toillet.
Special does not even begin to describe that text.
Sorry you called when I was puking in a cheetos bag
There was an awkward moment where I was going for his cock and he reach out and held my hand, thinking that what I was doing
I thought I walked in on an orgy of smurfs. Man I love shrooms
I think we should take up crocheing or stamp collecting....something completely lacking penises
My liver and I thought we knew what we signed up for. We were wrong.
Because you touch yourself at night.
...What time of day am I supposed to do it?
I heard you ran into my sister lastnight. Do you remember making out with her and slapping my uncle?
So, Kevin dropping me off at urgent care. Seems my tampon slipped out of reach. Even after he tried to get it out with some kitchen tongs.
It felt like I was on painkillers mixed with Molly mixed with the sinking feeling I'll die alone. 10/10 doing again.
See and now you're talking. I am like the fairy godmother of hook ups.
This can only be settled by a dance off.
Randomize
