who do you think you are?
someone who doesn't ask that question
Somerville?? What the hell are you going to do there?
Watch a movie and have sloppy make outs OBVI. 45 Harris St. in case I die.
worst 3rd wheel sitch ever. i'm crammed into a booth with him and chubs mcgee and his hand is between her legs. thank youuu karma.
Dude it was weird. The strippers vagina tasted kind of like your mother's.
She washed her feet in the sink at white castle. I want this girl in my life.
Calling yourself a modern day Geisha doesn't justify being a whore.
there were staples in my comforter. what kind of sex did we even have?
He was very impressed that you could put your hair in a ponytail by yourself while throwing up.
He just referred to himself as a sharp shooter. I had sex with that.
That's why we don't trade sex for Taco Bell. It's called the dollar menu.
Right now, there's some ten year old kid getting ready to go outside and play basketball. He will soon find out his basketball hoop was no match for my car.
Swish.
Standing here wondering if its a good idea to cook pork chops in the toaster or not.
Wife and kids came home early...naked passed out covered in chili cheese Fritos dad will haunt them forever.
How do I un-spend everything I bought last night? Seriously...was a penis shaped piñata and enough tequila to fill my bathtub really that necessary?
At least you can say you've literally dumped money down the drain
Speaking of dumpster fires, your ex tried to add me on Facebook
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