bl l w
this should be fun to decipher. I'd like to buy a vowel.
it was like one of those moments where the couple runs together and kisses and everyone in the airport claps. but instead of clapping an indian guy walked by and said 'ahhhright! get some!'
i just realized that im half way to my goal of puking in every single toilet on our floor
You insisted we put glow sticks on you so that we didn't lose you if you went pee in the dark.
I just tripped out to the Angel of Music from Phantom of the Opera in my car. Wayyyy to high for shuffle right now.
At some point, it turned less into sparring and more into tough guy dry humping.
She tried to beat him up using a half gallon of Bacardi, instead she got tangled in Kayla's hanging bra and broke a lamp. She can party with us anytime.
Think of something healthy and responsible. Now think of the exact opposite, let's do the latter
is it weird to think that girls born in '96 are now legal?
Just had empanadas for breakfast while watching Wall-e with my yesterday's one night stand mother AND grandmother.
By the power invested in me i promise you hot wedding sex at my wedding.
he sneezed into my face mid-kiss
Bless his heart
Got wasted in a little tiki hut by the beach yesterday. Woke up with a coconut and half of a mushroom burger in my purse. I also have a picture of our Romanian bartender's fingernails on my phone lol
Why do you always wake up with meat in your purse?
I'm keeping him.
Sex was good?
I had to tap out three times. There aren't words for how much better than "good" that is.
I couldn't have possibly been that bad
You had her flip the penny over to the lucky side before you picked it up and ate it...
Randomize
