Showering in the handicapped shower. Im THAT hungover.
Your the only friend that would realize I'm gonna get drunk and send coke to me at a bar before I made drunken phone calls for it. You sir complete me.....
it was a 10 min screaming orgasm. i don't care that you were next door and didn't appreciate all the noise.
Apparently she doesn't appreciate the significance of eskimo sisterhood as much as I do.
At least my fat-chick-ratio has not been that bad this semester ...
this may be my drink champagne alone in a bbaby pool in the dark night
If I had a dollar for every time i woke up screaming for my pants i"d have enough money to buy all the beer I stole last night.
I had to convince someone last night that the fact that he couldn't get me off wasn't him it was me and to clarify I had to tell him there was only. One person that got me off every time without fail, he said "that guy is my hero" you should be proud
She wants to go furniture shopping for memorial day so we've gotta go portable
thermos full of jaeger bombs?
Affirmative
He's like a fucking cake pop, the greatest thing in the world while it lasts, but it never lasts for long enough
Sex in the moonbounce later?
This is why I love you.
yeah, I'm getting gagged by the cock of fate
Man, I meant to go dancing, but accidentally took mushrooms and just threw the frisbee in the park
Surprise ending
I was shitfaced. I filled my contact case WITH TANNING LOTION
By talk things out did he mean have passionate angry sex?
Randomize
