what do you mean I googled how to give an awesome blow job?
So we fuck and I say, "I'm about to go." He tells me, "No, leave at ten.. just lay here for a little while." When I ask, "Why?!" He gets his feelings hurt and says, "ugh. or don't." Since when did guys start acting like girls?
she takes plan B like it's going out of style
Next time I say "Watch this" Get me the fuck out of the bar.
You stole my camera, took a picture of yourself and said "that's beautiful, just as beautiful as our waitress".
I was thinking more like a "sorry you can hear us, but I'm having the best sex of my life" cake
That's right. I did.
You are the saddest 25 year old gay man I've ever had the displeasure of knowing.
Um ... did I have a lizard on my shoulder last night at the bar?
Saw 2 lesbians fist fighting outside the bar tonight. I was startled yet slightly turned on
The Royals are in the World Series. I've never drank so much in one week in my life.
She's walking to the bar while holding a fifth of fireball, talking on the phone and puking like its nothing out of the ordinary
The power of the half flaccid cock, and to think, I thought I was just playing accordion in front of her Vagina!
Can you please stop having such an active social life? I'm tryna get fucked over here
My new favorite word is dickbag. I think its relevant here. And I say that with all the love in the world.
I kicked down a wall in rage and found a door behind the drywall. Once again vandalism solves all my problems.
Randomize
