now i know why they say having sex with her is the equivalent to licking a pay phone
32 messages asking me to suck his dick. And there for a minute i thought i was desperate. ha!
Hahahaha
make that 40.
Why the hell does jager make you get to the point of having to army crawl around cause you cant feel your legs and scream jaga bombs when puking??
Besides, I'm not in my 30's. I'm still allowed to drink wine from a bag.
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If I am going to throw out this whole "born again virgin" thing...i'm not going to do it on someone who is less than 5 inches.
Just bought a McDouble with a tightly rolled dollar. The lady just gave me a sad face...
Well its kinda hard to gift wrap an orgasm
Dick in a box?
The random guy I fucked from craigslist said I had the best smile. I take compliments where i can get them
Just watched a girl fall down the stair and be to drunk to get up. The only stair in the bar. It's like watching a turtle on it's back.
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Her family was right next to mine during christmas eve mass. Between the terrifying glares and her trying to set my sleeve on fire during the candle part I am VERY sure she knows im fucking her ex...
omg he is no good in bed, bless his little heart and his big dick
For the record, rock bottom is where you start crying during porn because your ex used to slap your ass like that.. Continue on with your day now.
Did you cry?
I don't think so. I definitely lost my cool though
Yeah i think jesus would lose his cool in that situation
She's passed out with a slice of pizza between her boobs should I just eat it and leave
I know it sounds cheesy, but i think both me and her mum know they are "thanks for being so cool about finding nudes of your daughter on the camera" flowers
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