I think I'm going to start texting all the people that don't want to talk to me
I just put lube in Matt's bellybutton. He looks unhappy.
I have left a significant number of teethmarks in my prhone. My mouth tastes like tequila and cheddar. Tomorrow already feels fun.
random question: do you know anywhere in the tri-state that has elephant racing? this is a work related question.
We decided to have a girls night of four lokos, three of us cried and the other puked
at roughly 3:30am you called me saying you were gonna start a big game of strip twister in politics class and i was your partner.
this islike a room full of reasons why i should be in prison
When you wake up in your dorm right outside your room with the key in the door, then you will understand my pain.
Just walked into a random hotel for the free breakfast. How was your night?
If she's steering anything, it's a religious boat of crazy. Destination: Iceberg.
Day drinking is so dangerous way too many construction workers out there to flirt with
I'm just saying. If this how my magic vagina shows it's magic then I don't want any
I just blocked a guy on grindr for having a little dick. See? I do have standards.
And that is why I love you so much. You have the same cold black heart as me.
You don't need yoga. You need a boyfriend! Trust me I've become all sorts of flexible this past year.
Randomize
