I decided to name my penis gatorade...is it in you?
This is awkward. You have a four minute voicemail from me. I would delete it. I accidently hit your number on speed dial and called you while I was vomiting a mai tai.
there were like 150 questions AFTER the application. you'd think for a store that has dick molding kits it'd be a joke
I know I am usually the slut but tonight it's her. She is being a slut, yes slut, T as in Tomorrow, U as in Uterus, L as in Llama and S as in Sangria. That spells slut, but backwards and that's what she is being.
$150 bar tab covered by these tits. That's now the going rate. Keeping my bra on during sex unless i see the Benjamins.
She said " I'm going to get her back one day soon for putting extacy in my pop while I drove her to whislter" just a heads up.
There are so many things that would come back to haunt me if I ran for President someday.
like that video of you mad stoned vomiting in the bdubs parking lot after going to a pizza buffet screaming how you needed to make room for froyo
Wat
I was living a snoop dogg song I fucked her on the floor so I wouldn't mess up my bed
I almost went home with him but then my hydroxycut fell out of my purse at the bar and I ran away
...I think I just watched a boy make a sandwich seductively. What.
Yeah, great now I will be tampon girl
I hooked up with a guy named Quan.. I literally hit the Quan
You talk the same way I hallucinate.
Actually, my eyes didn't start bleeding until the next day. So it was a pretty awesome night overall.
I'm so stoned. We're making Josh's sister bake us brownies. She's so small and pixie like. Her brownies make me cry tears of happy.
Randomize
