Told my mom a bit ago she'd meet you tonight
Um...??
She's excited
What do they do with the elephants that die at the zoo
Cremation, why do you ask?
I think we have a bit of a problem
I thought she would fill the void you created. Turns out she thought I just wanted to fill hers.
I'm on his itunes. He has a sex playlist. It's actually not so much a playlist as 12 Kylie Minogue songs with a big gay Whitney finish.
I made him hve sex with me in the elevator so that I could put my finger down in never have I ever.
You can't use the, "think about your future" line when trying to convince me to save some weed for tomorrow.
I love my boobs, they're the only thing that supports me. They make me a solid 6.
We don't have a lot of plans besides weed and cake
So I paid for the taxi using pennies and hair clips, no need to thank me.
My sheer presence has sent the hipsters running in terror. I expect no problems.
He ate me out while Space Jam was on. My life is complete.
I thought i didnt really feel whatever i snorted last night until i just realized i think i asked this dude to punch me fight club style
Update: they told me I was twerking to twenty one pilots
I hit an all time low we ran out of coke and I met up with my dealer at 8 in the morning for a re-up. great customer service though.
Oh no...did you put star fish over your nipples again?
Randomize
