bruce springsteen sings some of the most romantic songs i've ever heard.
the hells wrong with u
I just remember thinking, if she falls asleep, I'm totally eating that spilled chex mix right off of her.
Was that picture taken before or after I supposedly punched him in the face?
I'm standing in the shower drinking with the light off and a candle lit, listening to Amy Winehouse. Be proud.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'd recommend you leave that level of crazy to the experts. I'd start with an under appreciated soccer mom if I were you.
6 tequila shots, 3 kamikazes and 1 rumplemintz.. The next day I puked in my office trash can while doing payroll. I may have to dock my own pay for lack of class.
True friends don't judge, they just try to have more booty calls than you do.
When he opened the car door the whole thing fell off. Even that can be forgiven via his monster cock.
It wasn't your birthday, you weren't supposed to be the drunk one
When people keep buying you drinks at the bar because they like you, you can't say no to them
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I LACK THE NECESSARY BRAIN FUNCTIONS TO BE ABLE TO PROPERLY RESPOND TO THAT
I accidentally gave my prayer card to the bouncer. Clearly a cry for help #saveme
You spent an hour sitting naked in your neighbor's Jeep Wrangler yelling in a terrible British accent about how you were "on a safari". Then you passed out on your lawn.
In case you were wondering I realized something last night, Rick James was correct. Cocaine is a hell of a drug.
Whenever a guy asks me why I like weird sex stuff, I just answer, "Catholic School".
I just found peanut butter between my boobs. This was for you.
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