Midget sex pt 2 tonight
First shot of my 21st. 11 a.m. in econ class. Success.
well. it's seven AM and i'm too high to hula hoop.
i just realized that the oil change sticker on my windshield is a day before the last time i had sex. I've driven exactly 10500 miles since.
you need to get laid.. and an oil change.
we need 14,000 post its to execute this plan
I wish they had an "I'm Stoned" genre on online Netflix
My glasses smell like tequila. I just put them on and almost threw up.
So I just did the math and everything in this room except the computer and my clothes has been in my vagina
You just sent me a picture of a federal crime. Like. You don't give a fuck.
Almost threw up on my grandmother as she walked in the house. Had to run to the bathroom and vomit my brains out. Prolly getting taken out of the Will now.
Either sorry for fondling you Saturday or thank you for letting me fondle you Saturday.
At 12:16 am. We just got out of the truck and went behind it and fucked. With 3 people in the truck. On the side of the road. As cars drove by.
You straight up wore me out. This should be a proud moment for you. It's almost like my penis is asking for a timeout. But not really
You know the force is loosing strength when Darth Vader can't handle his liquor on halloween.
Considering I drank for you last night, do you mind picking up your half of the hangover
Randomize
