she's doing push ups on the keg. hows a girl supposed to compete with that?
lesson #67 learned in college: a three day old margarita, is still a margarita.
Best walk of shame ever. Not only did I not remember his name or the fact that we fucked, they all watched as I tried to get into 3 cars that werent mine
Oh and I threw up on myself...
y-o-u-r-e = you are, y-o-u-r = your. you are a bag of douche not your bag of douche. if you're going to insult me at least do it in proper english. that is all.
I think I love you, but I may be biased because we had pirate sex.
Tough to say exactly how to play this. I just know people don't like surprises when genitals are involved.
Her name means "flower that enlarges and gives birth." There is no way she isn't getting knocked up
I hooked up with some guy to get over my ex last night. I was terrified until we started doing naked pushups.
Its everclear night, yall need carbs in your body!
I think I've had 45 beers today though So things are looking up.
also, i am in no position to judge as my life choices today went along the lines of "YAY VODKA". for breakfast.
apparently, dueling with garden tools in Home Depot is strictly frowned upon
he puked all over my guest bed and the said he felt good enough to clean it up. he poured bleach all over the bed and passed out in it. he had the chemiacal burn for a month...
I'm really sorry I bit your mom last night, it was completely uncalled for.
Shut up. I hate you. We're doing shots tomorrow. Fuck the consequences.
Randomize
