I feel like if your cat could talk she would call me a cunt.
There are many reasons why he shouldn't come over. And each one is longer than his penis.
You went from loaded cattleman, to football player, to better football player, to art major from Missouri. Your future was looking so good for a while.
So I managed to get the bitch who has been copying off me all semester in History to copy the names of Pokemon towns off my test.
she used teeth so i didnt tell her when i was cumming ...........dont get mad get even
I lull them into a false sense of security with my gayness. Then when they're vulnerable, I strike, like a snake. A big non-gay snake, with huge balls.
Thank god I didn't get free from the hospital restraints. I wouldent have lasted long drunk, startled and in an ass-less gown In D.C.
Unless you can blow me and bake me a pie at the same time, im not impressed.
I just realized that the first thing he ever bought me was Plan B.
I'm buying groceries with adderoll. I hope I'm never this broke again.
She came 4 times, called me a god, then made me breakfast. I don't think she is ever going to leave
NO FUCKBOY SHALL PASS OPERATION #BITCHMODE HAS SUCCEEDED
Would it be totally wrong, that in honor of princess leias death, I role played as her??
... why is there baby oil , black socks and frozen hot dogs in the sink this morning ?
You'll be pleased to know I just had an elaborate day dream about your penis. you were there too.
Randomize
