i just smoke outta the biggest bowl i've ever seen. the kid was totally compensating for a tiny weeenie.
No matter how drunk I am, I will take the time to wipe a pube off the toilet seat.
i wonder if detective benson from law and order takes those handcuffs home. i bet she does.
i'm having a wet tshirt contest with myself and yet i'm still losing
I bet her clit looks like pig in a blanket.
We have to go find her fucking car. She came home from a 80 dollar cab ride, no shoes, and all she remembers is its at a burger king on a street with an H in it
strike ten. I need to stop drinkng
the only thing he could say in english were 'insert coin here' and 'game over'. i love spanish men.
I took my vicodin with tequila. I can FEEL gravity...
Please get rnbert tn get chebk h'm in i'm no dead when he getr gome
Thanksgiving day drinking ended up with me in a shopping cart screaming where are the bitches and condoms. I'd say it went well.
Also send boobie pics with bobs burgers in background its the only way to get me off anymore
If you think hives from an allergic reaction to lube is funny, remind me to tell you the story about how I got a black eye from masturbating.
I want to ride his face like a jet ski
No clue what you did last night, sorry. You did hand me a pizza and a mason jar with $1200 in small bills in it when I let you in though.
Randomize
