I thought she was going to get passionate and throw her on the bed and fuck her, but she just started breaking stuff.
That's the thing about women.
the bartender cut u off when u asked him for his screename so u could IM him later
You realize at the bar last night we blew on imaginary whistles like rose from titanic right?
Btw...I puked in my hand last night and threw it on the floor. Don't let me do tequila ever again.
This spray tan I used isn't working out. I spent an hour exfoliating and rubbing the damn stuff in with rubber gloves. I wanted the alluring, sun-kissed, sexy look. I've achieved smelling like burnt popcorn and the cats won't stop licking me. I'm a salt lick for cats.
I plan on being naked for at least 2/3 of the wedding.
I want "hickeys on my ass" sex
Wtf are freshmen gonna think when the first thing they see in a pale 6'4 white kid with a mustache yelling ya man and we be liming in a Trinidadian accent
I wish buying curtains was as easy as buying drugs. I already KNOW what I want and what the outcome will be: awesome.
Got head at the top of a water slide over-looking the valley while wearing a sombrero and drinking a corona. Epic.
Just me, my martini, and my backup Martini.
You know it was a good night when visa fraud prevention services are calling
just turned another straight guy gay. Goddamn the church must hate me
hotelroom bed is big enough to masturbate in, but small enough to not want to sleep in it after you've masturbated in it
I kinda realized titty fucking is purely for our enjoyment, they dont really get much out of it, except for a guy sitting on them and and a dick bouncing of their chin
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