Don't worry I'll hold the wheel while you cum
i woke up convinced that my room was backwards i tried to go into the closet to get outta my room
So the waitress at the Chinese Buffet totally just said "Adios" to a Hispanic couple. There's something you don't see every day.
I had to sleep with my math professor to pass algebra. Apparently my blowjobs are only C+ quality
Well I could just do a roadtrip and hit them all. Slut tour 2012.
Let's learn from last year: Leave the handcuffs at home on St Patrick's Day.
You're not supposed to support this behaviour, btw the judge recognized me
I'll do a soapy photo shoot for you in the shower. No loofas, though. Once you get one of those caught in your nipple ring, you never go back.
Be here at 9 and look fabulous. We have drag queens to impress.
bro your seconds weren't very sloppy last night, is everything ok?
Youre not supposed to get arrested if your parents fly you home for christmas!
True but this has the bonus of them maybe not wanting to fly me home next year, im good with that didnt wanna go in the first place.
I don't know who's more excited for you to come home. Me or my vagina
And here I thought that was one nut sack too many
So after the absinthe shots_____(fill in the blank area for me please)......
I was at a hookups house and peed in his sink so I wouldn't wake up his mom... drunk me is on a different level
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