did i leave my keys in your car? BTW: sorry for throwing that drink on your date.
Blind date just said "Can't wait till I'm married so i can let myself go". There will be no second date.
Saying she let herself go implies she was actually holding on
vagina is talking i cant
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Feels weird sitting between two guys who've had their heads between my legs in a 24 hour span.
I feel like the only solution to this is to get naked and lay in the shower for a hour then see what my penis wants to do.
oh and then you called a time out with your penis
Hold on I'm doing something revolutionary that blossomed from a high idea
i came home to her naked eating chilli on the living room floor. Stop giving her jager.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
BECKY! ITS ANDY FROM LAST NIGHT WITH THE PILL
Andy, Sorry you have the wrong number. But good luck with Becky!
Come on kid, foreplay is elementary stuff. It's a vagina, not a sphinx.
Grandma's bordering on serious shit show territory at this point.
Am I required to send a Christmas card to my fuck buddy?
So there is a 50% chance that he just left my house and a 100% chance that I have to be up for work in 2 hours...
Pretty sure I got at least one girl to question her sexuality at the Christmas party last night
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