I wanna get FUCKED up and fail the piss test at my eval so they send me to detox and give me suboxone... Is that bad?
My roommate was eating ketchup out of a bowl. Get me the hell out of here.
Tiger Woods should have just walked in, gave everyone a high five, and left.
Dude, she puked up her Plan B, then reached in the toilet and re-swallowed it. That chick does NOT want a baby
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I think I have internal bruising from those poses we were doing last night. My own ribs hurt me. I don't understand.
Got free coffee because I told the guy at starbucks the pleats in his khaki pants made his cock look big.
thank you for letting me use your house as a brothel.
He legit pounded my cooking wine, because he was to cheap to buy beer. He is so not getting any.
Dont be alarmed when you find the maintenance guy passed out on your couch. I didn't to explain why I was there so I offered him a drink, I dont know what happened after that.....
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It's fine...I've done worse things to better people.
My vagina is screaming your name . Wtf did you do to it
Almost caused a huge accident on the highway because I was distracted by how orange the road barrels were
The cops came, and I made friends with him. He wants me to babysit his kids.
We had sex and then stood naked in his living room eating zucchini bread.
Who wakes up at 9 and says "let me send a pic of my dick to my ex gf"
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