Those former-lesbian gone white-trash bars always seem to be your favorite.
I just spent an unhealthy amount of money overnighting a full adult sized Trix Rabbit Halloween costume
Packing up everything in the dorm. Silly bands to unused condom ratio is ridiculous.
I succsesfully kept my nipples in my dress all night. Even when I got in a fight. I was made for the bar.
I pulled an all nighter. So hoped up on coffee and aderall. Pretty sure you could take my pulse through a snow jacket...
Dude, you need to man up. You passed out before a PRESEASON game. It's a long season.
do you think this outfit says "I maintained my dignity this weekend"?
If I had really thought it through, I would have bought some Depends, popped one on and made this night my bitch.
you guys just sat there and simultaneously smoked bowls staring at each other... it was like a bowl off or something.
I'm sitting on my couch eating a bag of marshmallows and watching someone run bare ass down the street. What has happened to my life?
I've now fucked in every motel room in this small town.
We almost drove away from the bar with a British stranger in our trunk...
Kids I used to babysit are now fuckable members of my social media periphery.. Getting old sucks
Don't come back. They don't have pants.
Oh god.
God has nothing to do with this.
She squirted. We were both surprised. I'm that good.
Randomize
