she looked like she should be chained to micheal vicks radiator
Everyone is in jail. I'll see what i can do though
the creek. my friends left me at a party next thing i know im in a breaststroke relay race with a bunch of randos in the dark
at least you know where his tattoos end, so it wasn't a complete waste of time.
I honestly can't remember your justification for putting peanut butter on your cell phone.
Well, I made it all the way to the gas station. And from there, I begged a cab driver who was parked outside, to give me a piggy back ride the final 2 blocks to my apartment. I wasn't in the cab. Didn't have to pay. Drunk me is smart, and very lazy.
I mentioned your name at this party and some girl started crying.
According to my snapchat story, I tore a fake wig off a security guard and ran away with it.
I am harder than a fucking diamond and Michael Bolton is playing. Your move.
When my beach tent arrives , I strongly suggest quitting our jobs and becoming homeless beach drunks
Tbh you just need to fuck it out like I don't know another solution
How much weed should I buy my mom for her birthday?
Mmm vodka always tastes better when i know i have work at 8am
Remember that time I came to London for 4 hours, got hammered, cried for an hour and then left.
I just broke into my house with a butter knife. It kinda scares me just how easy that was.
Randomize
